How to Get a Restraining Order on Someone

To get a restraining order, you file a written request (a "petition") at your local court asking a judge to order a specific person to stay away from you and stop hurting, threatening, or contacting you. A judge can often grant a short-term emergency order the same day, and then holds a hearing within a couple of weeks to decide on a longer order. You usually do not need a lawyer to start, and most courts have free forms and a clerk or advocate who can help you fill them out.

A "restraining order" and a "protective order" (sometimes called a "protection from abuse" or "order of protection") are usually the same basic thing: a court order limiting what another person can do to you. The exact name, the forms, and who qualifies are set by each state, because family and domestic-violence law is mostly state law. The steps below describe how the process generally works almost everywhere, but always check your own state's court website for the precise rules.

Who can ask for a restraining order

Yes, you can request a restraining order yourself. Most states offer a few different categories, and which one fits depends on your relationship to the other person and what they have done:

• Domestic violence / family orders - for abuse, threats, or stalking by a spouse, ex, dating partner, co-parent, household member, or close relative.
• Civil harassment / stalking orders - for a neighbor, coworker, acquaintance, or stranger who is harassing, threatening, or stalking you when there is no close relationship.
• Workplace, elder, or child-specific orders - many states have specialized orders for these situations.

You generally need to show recent abuse, credible threats, harassment, or stalking - not just that you dislike or distrust someone. If you are afraid for your immediate safety, you do not have to wait; that is exactly what an emergency order is for.

The two stages: emergency order, then the hearing

Most restraining-order cases move in two steps, so understanding the timeline keeps you from being caught off guard.

1. Temporary (emergency) order

When you file, you can ask for a temporary order right away. A judge can issue this ex parte - meaning based only on your written request, before the other person is notified - if your statement shows an immediate risk. These temporary orders are short, often lasting only until your hearing date (commonly a week or two, depending on the state). Outside of court hours, police can sometimes help you get an emergency protective order until the courthouse reopens.

2. Final order after a hearing

The court sets a hearing where both you and the other person can appear, present evidence, and tell your side. If the judge agrees protection is warranted, they issue a longer-term order. Final orders commonly last one to several years and can sometimes be renewed. Do not skip this hearing - if you do not appear, your case can be dismissed and the temporary order can expire.

What you can do: step by step

1. Get to safety first. If you are in danger right now, call 911. A paper order is one layer of protection, not a substitute for immediate help.
2. Find the right court. This is usually the family court, superior court, district court, or circuit court in the county where you live, where the other person lives, or where the abuse happened. Your state court's website will say which court handles protective orders.
3. Get the forms. Ask the clerk for the restraining-order or protective-order packet, or download it from the court website. There is usually a petition and a sworn statement (declaration or affidavit).
4. Write a clear, specific statement. Describe the most serious and most recent incidents: what happened, when, where, any injuries, threats, weapons, and whether children were present. Be factual and concrete. Dates and details carry far more weight than general statements.
5. Ask for exactly what you need. You can request no contact, stay-away distances from your home, work, and your children's school, no firearms, temporary custody or support, and that the person move out of a shared home. Check every box that applies to your situation.
6. File with the clerk. Submit your forms. Many courts do not charge a fee to file a domestic-violence protective order; ask the clerk and ask about a fee waiver if cost is a concern.
7. Get the temporary order and hearing date. If the judge grants a temporary order, you will receive a copy and a date to return for the full hearing. Keep copies with you at all times.
8. Have the other person served. The other person must be formally notified ("served") before the hearing, usually by a sheriff, marshal, or process server - not by you personally. The court or law enforcement often handles this for protective orders. Service must happen before the hearing for the order to move forward.
9. Prepare for the hearing. Gather evidence: photos of injuries or damage, threatening texts, emails, voicemails, social-media messages, medical or police records, and names of any witnesses. Bring organized copies.
10. Attend the hearing. Arrive early, dress neatly, stay calm, and tell the judge plainly what happened and why you need protection. You can bring a support person or advocate.

Time-sensitive facts to watch

• Temporary orders expire fast. An emergency order typically lasts only until your hearing. If you miss the hearing, your protection can lapse.
• Service must be completed in time. If the other person is not served before the hearing, the court may reschedule, which can extend your temporary order but also delays your final order.
• Renewals have deadlines. If your final order is expiring and you still need protection, ask the court about renewing it before it ends, not after.

After you get the order

Carry a copy with you, give a copy to anyone named as protected (such as a school or your workplace), and keep one in a safe place. Make sure your local police department has it on file so officers can act quickly if the order is violated. If the person named in the order contacts or comes near you in violation of it, call the police - violating a protective order is a crime in itself, and you do not have to prove the underlying abuse again to report a violation.

Restraining orders work across state lines

A valid protection order does not stop at your state's border. Under the federal Violence Against Women Act, a protection order properly issued by one state, tribe, or territory must be given full faith and credit and enforced by the courts and police of every other state, tribe, or territory as if it were issued there, as long as the issuing court had jurisdiction and the other person got reasonable notice and a chance to be heard (18 U.S.C. § 2265). That means you generally do not have to get a new order if you move or travel - though registering your out-of-state order with local courts or police where you relocate can make enforcement smoother.

Federal law also adds criminal teeth on top of state protection. It is a federal crime to cross state lines (or tribal boundaries) with the intent to injure, harass, intimidate, or stalk an intimate partner or family member and then place them in fear or cause serious distress (18 U.S.C. § 2261A), and a separate federal crime to travel across state lines intending to violate a protection order and then do so (18 U.S.C. § 2262). These federal provisions sit on top of - not instead of - your state's domestic-violence laws.

Getting help filling it out

You do not have to do this alone. Court self-help centers, legal aid offices, and domestic-violence advocates regularly help people prepare and file these petitions for free, and many can go to the hearing with you. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) can connect you with local advocates and shelters and help you build a safety plan. If your situation is complex - for example, it involves custody, immigration, or firearms - talking with a family-law attorney can help, and many areas have free or low-cost options.

Common questions about the process

People often worry that they need proof of physical injury, a police report, or a lawyer before they can file. None of those are required to start. Your own sworn statement can be enough for a judge to issue a temporary order; the other evidence strengthens your case at the hearing. The honest, specific account of what happened is the heart of your petition.

This article is general information, not legal advice; for guidance on your specific situation, consult a licensed attorney in your state.